Welcome to my home; never forget that little pronoun. I may be 7 times your age and unable to jump over the barrier to your room, and your dinner, as once I would have. It is strange that my muscles have withered by the same mass that something under my ribs has grown, it hangs low and skews my balance and makes me so tired. But I still see what you are doing, and if you outlast me, there are some things you need to know.
To begin, the stairs.
She needs to be able to see you at all times. If she
trips and falls our food source will be gone. Do not walk beside her and
suddenly turn across her path when she is carrying the basket full of their
outer layers. You were lucky all you got was some shouty words. I have to say
going and licking her face when she was rubbing her wrenched shoulder was a
good move.
Always travel behind or before, never suddenly stop at
the bottom to set her spinning across the floor as she tries to miss standing
on you.
To continue, the bathroom.
It is perfectly fine to push in when there is a gap
and stand in companionable silence when she sits to relieve herself. I have to
say I was shocked to see you jump up on her lap to do your very obvious
sniffings. A polite whiff as she stands to flush is quite enough. Think
yourself lucky, young man that you just got pushed off and not out, that day.
When she retires to the room and removes her outer
layer she is alright. You do not need to rush in to inspect the cubicle of rain.
Please politely remain in the sleeping room until she is ready to come out for
her new outer layer. By the way – glass – yes you can see things through it but
you can’t touch them. No matter how many times you bat and paw away at the
water drops down the cubicle wall you will not save her from them.
When she gets out please stop doing that side scraping
thing against her legs, your fluff sticks to her, gets scraped off onto the
drying sheet then into her hair if she has done the bubbles. You must not irritate
the food maker. You have to keep her relaxed, if she gets edgy and late she may
forget the first meal.
Jumping up onto the top where the water spurts and
sniffing into her mouth as she has that minty machine whirring in there is gob
smackingly – well just weird. See earlier comment re first meal of the day.
You need to understand that this bathroom thing she
does needs to be fast. Swinging on the cord of the hot air shouter and
unplugging it all the time is not helping.
It was your own fault that you got locked in the
cupboard. Use your voice man.
To end – for now, the desk.
You will notice that I have a comfortable, designated
area in which to repose as she stares at the wall of light and taps on the
buttons that change the light. It is extremely rude to put yourself in that
space. Find somewhere comfortable to wait.
You must not walk on the buttons. She was very cross
yesterday when words were sent too early to her Team somewhere because you
walked on the go button.
Walking around the screen to get to the window is
inefficient. With your young springy legs you can just get to the viewing
platform from the chair, why do you need to walk over her wrists and push your
back and tail up into her face so she can’t see the light wall? Remember – the
longer she stays here the longer we wait for her to go to the food room.
AND that is not a real mouse you silly boy. Do not pat
it to the floor and chase it around the room. Leaving it under the table when
she was making her drink hotter was a big time waster.
Getting your head stuck in her cup and panicking was a
big mistake. Smashed cup and water stuff all over the buttons was the biggest
boo-boo so far.
I know that your generation is more demanding and
curious than mine but things will be a lot easier for you if you take my advice
and wait for what you want. It will come.
Our peoples will not forget us.
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| Charlie in his stink sack ready to protect his space from Basileus, new kid on the block. |
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